Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Monthly Reflections 2011-2012: August

I originally began this post on Labor Day. I wanted to give anyone who might still be out there an update on how our first month of the new school year went. I got a few paragraphs written, but then I stopped. I couldn't really get a feel for what was wrong. I didn't blog at all in August because I didn't want to do the same old complaining that I've been caught up in for so long.

"It's hard."

"I'm scared."

"Don't know if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing."

I'm sure you're wanting to say, "We know already. For pete's sake, get over it and move on!" LOL

I understand and I will tell you that I'm working on it. This summer, and especially through August, I have come to regret that we ever started homeschooling. It's been a horrible feeling, especially since I have always been so strongly convinced that homeschooling was the right choice for our family. And yet, for the last few months I have been left to wonder why I ever started in the first place, and where our family might be now if I had never taken Austin out of school.

Of course, when I drift into these thoughts the picture I have of "where we would be" is very rosy. The kids are happy in school and doing much better academically than they are at home. They are in good public schools because I have been working for the last 7 years and we are able to afford a home in a better school district. Austin and Reece have been getting the therapy that they need through the schools, and Austin was diagnosed much sooner because the schools recognized the problem long before I accepted it. We have nice new cars that have fewer than 100,000 miles on them. The girls each have their own rooms because we can afford a bigger house. My dh only has to work one job, because I am working. The kids get to do more activities because we have the money to pay for it. Everyone gets along much better because they aren't around each other all the time, and we are all much happier.

::sigh:: It's a nice picture, isn't it?

If I'm honest with myself, I know that this picture doesn't not necessarily represent reality. Maybe it does? Maybe it doesn't. But it's hard to remind myself of that truth on those really hard days. And they've ALL been hard lately. But maybe that's because I spend too much time thinking of what could have been (that nice picture?) instead of what is.

So here is what is, or what was, for the month of August:

Austin tries very hard and is determined to do his very best to reach his goals.
Riley is going through a very challenging time in her life, but she will get through it eventually.
Reece is excited about learning and is having a lot of fun.

So there you go! Short and sweet!

September will be a very ineffective month academically, so I am hoping to make it a very effective month relationally! Will let you know how that works out!


Anonymous said...

I've missed your blog. It's such a great way to keep up with what is going on with you and the kiddos.

Anonymous said...

By the way, anonymous is me ... your Aunt Terri. I don't have any of the accounts they ask for so I come in as anonymous :-)

Anonymous said...

By the way, I work w/someone who has 6 kids (one is autistic) and his wife home schooled until this year. Last year she had Liam go to public school (he is her special needs child) because she wasn't sure that all of her children were getting what they needed and Liam was very disruptive. That worked pretty well but then her other 3 school age children asked to go to school outside of the home which they are this year. In hindsight, it turned out to be a good thing as she is battling cancer at the age of 39. So I guess what I'm trying to say is they have gone both ways and miss the homeschooling but circumstances preclude it this year.

poohder said...

I missed your blog too! I've had those same 'delusions. It's all just smoke and mirrors. Public school, bigger houses, and newer cars and vacations aren't gonna give you the 'peace' you're looking for, only Jesus. I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but sometimes it's something we need to hear over and over. At least I do. (because another "check Engine" light is on my car right now", and I can't stop worrying about it and thinking how I should be working and getting more money into this house.)
LOVE YA!! Rhonda

The Glasers said...

Uh, tag, you're it!!!! http://aut2bhomeincarolina.blogspot.com/2011/09/rare-event-here-homeschooling-meme.html

But, you can wait until you get back from the magical kingdom.