Two years ago today, we were told that Reece has an autism spectrum disorder. It changed our lives in so many ways, I can't even seem to remember what it was like to not have autism be a part of our world. There are definitely days where I wish we had never gotten her a diagnosis, but then I do see the progress she has made through the last 2 years. So, for that much, it was worth it.
Maybe one of these days I'll be able to write eloquently about my family and autism. There are so many questions that I'm still trying to reconcile:
Am I supposed to be mad at autism and ready to fight it like crazy, or am I supposed to accept the autism that is a part of my children and love them for who they are?
Will I ever stop worrying that I'm not doing enough?
Will I ever stop hearing about another therapy, come home and spend the next 6 hours googling, and then feel like I'm a terrible mom for not doing 'everything I can' to help my children?
Are we better off having a diagnosis for these children?
Was it better when we just thought we were terrible parents, because we haven't stopped thinking we're terrible parents, now we're just terrible parents with baggage.
Will September 30th ever feel the same again?
Reece stood at the window today when I left to take Riley to choir. She hollered out, "Good-bye, Mama! I love you!" She definitely has come a very long way. I pray that she continues to make progress like that. I just want her to be happy!