Yesterday we had to go to the store to buy a present for a party Austin was invited to. (More about that in another post later) I lost Reece at the store. I was paying, she was there, then she wasn't. ::sigh:: It was so frightening! The store was very busy because of Spring Break. Thankfully, it wasn't a very big store, so I sent Austin in one direction and Riley and I went in the other direction. I found her with a mom and baby, asking if she could go home with the baby. Goodness only knows what that mother must have been thinking!
This is officially one of the biggest regressions I think Reece has ever had. She hasn't wandered away this much in years! (This is the 3rd time in the last month that she's wandered away dangerously) I cannot trust her for even a few seconds without my hand on her. And she is constantly making noises with her mouth. It's driving me absolutely insane! Austin has always done alot of verbal stimming, but having Reece do it, too?! Ugh! And when we're in the car and they are both doing it? I think my sanity is literally at stake!
When we got back out to the car yesterday, I told Reece (in the most declarative language I could manage) that I was so worried about her when I couldn't find her. And that it is important for 5 year old girls to stay with their moms. She replied with, "I'm a bad bad girl!" ::sigh:: You know, I have really worked so hard to not make the same mistakes I made with Austin. We really disciplined him hard when he was this age, trying to make him stop doing the things he did which we now know are part of his ASD. I have always felt like that really caused many of the anxiety problems his has now, and how he internalizes any criticism or discipline as an "I'm bad!" sort of thing. To hear Reece say that yesterday just crushed me, and made me extremely frustrated and feeling like I want to give up. Is there nothing I can do that will help?
I am trying my very best to stay positive and remember that the ASD doctor told me not to be so upset during these times of regression. He encouraged me to look at them as periods of reorganization that everyone has to go through in order to make progress. But I just saw so much progress right up through her birthday! It seems like after her birthday, it all just fell apart!
Well, I'd better go... I need to work on the video stuff for the RDI consultant. I'm going to work on Reece today, and then try to work on Austin tonight after Reece goes to bed!