Monday, January 01, 2007

Upgrade for the New Year

Last night a very important upgrade took place in our household. Mom2006 became Mom2007! This is a very important upgrade that should benefit everyone at the Black Pearl Academy. Here are the new features and benefits of Mom2007:

  1. Mom2007 only eats healthy food, and only when she is physically hungry. This was a flaw that actually started with Mom2005, and wasn't corrected in Mom2006. Mom2007 also exersizes daily, whether or not the "Gym" option is implemented. Mom2007 doesn't drink Pibb every day, and doesn't keep a stash of candy hidden behind the measuring cups. Mom2007 has an "early to bed, early to rise" function that will help with the overall maintenance of Mom2007.
  2. Mom2007 spends daily time reading the Bible and praying. Mom2006 was often angry at God and felt like He was trying to punish her. Mom2006 rarely prayed because she felt it didn't really matter anymore.
  3. Mom2007 is a much more patient model, especially when the Son model seems to have forgotten everything he ever learned, when the Daughter1 model implements the "argue" function, or when the Daughter2 model loses the "speech" function. The previous "run and hide from the kids" flaw has also been fixed.
  4. Mom2007 is a much more efficient model. She has been enabled with a built-in Flylady system, and is adept at meal planning. She is also able to get all of the planned homeschool programs completed (this will be aided by the removal of the "run and hide from the kids" flaw).
  5. Mom2007 is a much more positive and optimistic model. Mom2006 tended to dwell on things that were not under her control, and also had an overactive "worry" mode. This has been fixed with the Mom2007 upgrade! Mom2007 will acknowledge the struggles she faces, but will not dwell on the impossibility of the future.

This upgrade took place last night, and has been moderately active today. There are a few 'bugs' that have to be worked out, as is typical for any brand new upgrade! But I have faith that Mom2007 will be much more enjoyable for all to be around! :)


Jan said...

Ok, I need the mommy 2007 to keep me accountable for these same things!!! : )

Becca said...

Well, that was a fun post! I never considered behind the measuring cups as a hiding place, good idea. Have a wonderful 2007!

Lisa said...

Oooh, I need that software upgrade. All the good software is usually expensive. Did you get it on sale? ;-) (My candy has various hiding places. The kids ALWAYS sniff it out if it is in the cupboard though.)

(Jen, that was so darn creative! It reminds me of that Legolas Owner's Manual. Did you ever read that?)