Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Me, Myself, and I

Those 3 people are my worst enemies! They are the biggest source of my frustration with homeschooling, and they are the stealers of any content moments I might have.

Last Friday, as you may have read, I went to the homeschool convention. And I made decisions. And now, I'm totally doubting my math decision, once again. I have at least narrowed the issue down to my notions about each of the math programs in question.

I view Math-U-See as a program for moms/kids who don't like or don't do well with math. And I view Singapore Math as a program for moms/kids who are gifted in math. It clouds my judgement. I don't understand why I think this way, except for maybe reading on the message boards? I decided upon Singapore Math for the kids, saying to myself that if the kids have trouble we can always switch to MUS. For the last couple of days, I've been really wondering if I've made the correct decision. I feel that the kids will be missing something if I don't use MUS with them. I can't really quantify the 'something' though. I was confident with my decision to use Singapore Math while I was shopping at the convention.

This is a pattern that just seems to repeat itself ad nauseum with my homeschool curricula decisions. I wish I could get to the root of the problem. Why do I always second-guess myself? Why do I not trust my decisions? Why does it always seem that the grass is greener on the other side of the curriculum?

I'm sure those who I've shared this struggle with think that it's just my way of keeping myself busy. That, at some level, I love all the bouncing back and forth and the doubt. I can guarantee you without a shadow of a doubt that that is not true!! It's so frustrating for me! I would just love for once to make a decision about something related to school, and know in my heart that it is the right one for us! I really hate feeling this way!

Off to start the school day...

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