Friday, March 18, 2005

Mama Guilt

Have you ever had it? I have it ALL the time for various reasons. This time it's a biggie: Tuesday morning I'm going to look at a preschool for Reece.

It sounds very simple you know: 1. Place youngest child into a nice, nationally accredited preschool program at a nearby church. 2. Get enormous amounts of fun, crafty, exciting school work done for older children without having youngest child dump over the science project, color herself with the markers, or dump the glue on the floor. 3. Pick up youngest child from the wonderful preschool program where she has played games, sung songs, created age-appropriate art (and not on herself). 4. Live happily ever after!

So why do I feel so rotten for considering it? Let me count the ways.

1. If I was a good homeschool mom, I would be able to meet everyone's needs without shipping the youngest off to an institution. (Hey, I never pretended not to be melodramatic!)

2. You know, number 1 pretty much sums it up. :(

I really thought this past year was going to be the worst. And it still may work out that way. Things may change over the summer and Reece will settle down and want to be part of the excitement rather than the cause of the destruction. It's just that I'm not the most craft or project oriented person on the planet. So when we do try crafts or projects and it ends up looking like something out of a bad lunchroom food fight, it's very frustrating to me. Not a very good excuse for a homeschooler, huh?

I guess we'll see what happens after I take a tour of the preschool next week! I'm hoping for either a very definite "yes!" or a very definite "no!" feeling to come over me! Mostly because I'm thinking if I have to make another major decision anytime soon my head might explode! :)


gina said...

The right preschool is not an "institution". It actually mirrors homeschooling philosophy. So pick one with lots of room for choice of activities and relax. I think children gain alot of independence and confidence from preschool. When Brieele was 3(and my "baby" at the time, I never would have given her the juice and had her pour herself a cup ~ she got that at preschool. Amongst other things.

Niffercoo said...

Gina, thanks for the suggestions and reassurance! Reece doesn't do very well away from me in nursery at church or Bible study, so that's why I'm not sure preschool would be best for her. I'm not sure it would grow her independence without great struggle on her part. :(